Debbi and I arrived at the hospital at 0915 for a 0930 Chemo Infusion appointment. First off they took 4 viles of blood as usual, plugged into my med port into my chest and sent me to see talk with Dr. Horiba ( My Oncologist). We discussed the Chemo and side effects and possibilities of my future and Cancer. We also discussed my pain. She refilled my Roxicet for me, yay ya yay with concern. She does agree and believe that my pain is real, but shes worried about addiction and the possibility of an infection which could be causing my pain so.....we set up some appointments for a Cat Scan and for some pain management appointments for possible addiction. The Chemo infusion went well as always, its a very long process but they make you very comfy with food, TV and a comfortable recliner. Dr Horiba told me to expect side effects from the Chemo ( fatigue and nausea ) as early as tonight.Ill keep you updated the best I can, for now I'm going to eat something and I'm excited about the possibility of a well needed and deserved good night rest.

Its just a little after 2:00AM and I have been brought out of a dead sleep because of pain to my chest area.Im talking a 20 on a scale of 1-10. For the first time since this has begun have I felt that my team of doctors from the University of Maryland has let me down.They promised me that they will do whatever nessasary to keep me comfortable and they have not. I have been in pain for over 3 weeks and they tell me to take Motrin, well honestly with the pain that I am having, Motrin doesnt do a fucking thing. Today I go for my second Chemo Infusion, unless the doctors PROMISE to medicate me for pain, I WILL NOT DO THE CHEMO IN FUSION !!!!!!
There is no way that I can endure Chemo, Chemo discomfort and the pain I am having all together.If my doctors will not medicate me for pain I will go into the streets of downtown Frederick to find and purchase drugs that will find me comfort.
Enough is enough, I just can not tollerate the pain anymore.